I am grateful for this new day, for the sun who faithfully ushers in a fresh start each time he takes his place in the sky. I appreciate that no matter what events have transpired the day before, no matter how dark the night, he can be counted on to shine with the same vigor each and every morning. I appreciate his graceful entrance, how he politely eases himself into the sky so I have a few moments to get used to the idea that it is time, yet again, to rise and begin. I am grateful for the sounds that rouse me from sleep- the rhythmic rustle of the palm trees beyond my bedroom window, and the excited tweets of the birds overhead. Their melodies blend together and I can’t help but smile a little as I eavesdrop on their chirpy conversations. I am grateful for the sounds of family, for the reminder that I exist in community, for crying babies and barking dogs and laughing children, for the swoosh of splashes in the pool, the whistle of a tea kettle, the clinking of cutlery and breakfast plates.
I am grateful for a strong body, for legs that are eager to explore new paths, for a back that is straight and a mind that is clear, open, and ready, for lungs that breathe easily, and for an abundance of fresh air to fill them. I am grateful for inquisitive eyes and alert ears and thin skin that feels the subtle nuances of changing temperature and shifts in energy. I am grateful for the goose bumps that involuntarily cover my flesh when I come in contact with something beautiful, for the skip of a heartbeat, the flip of the belly, the gasp for breath, all those glorious reactions that take place when this strong body and open mind witness the extraordinary nestled right in there with the ordinary.
I am grateful for the fresh smell after a short summer rain, and the mystical synergy of sun and shower. Here, now, there is no either/or, but both in turn. I appreciate the way in which the midday sun sometimes backs away from his centre stage for a while. He sneaks behind a curtain of clouds and allows the grey to roll in with choreographed grace. How wonderful to look up and catch that exact moment when the clouds open up and pour just enough rain to bring all the thirsty, sunburnt plants back to life. Everything then is fully alive, and the sun returns to his rightful place, and all is in perfect harmony. I am grateful for the presence of green and brown existing side by side, the reminder that death and life belong together and grow from each other. I appreciate the circles and cycles that shape the path of all things living, because those circles prove that none of this is ever really over. I appreciate the lessons learned from the solitary plant that survives in spite of its surroundings- its roots make their home in nurtured soil, but also in the tiniest crack in a hunk of rock, or even in old, lifeless, used up dirt. I watch the wild goats and donkeys feast on the only speck of green found in the grand scapes of brown, and I am reminded of the intensely powerful force that is Life, the desperate desire of anything born into this world- no matter what its beginning or current circumstances- to live, survive, and eventually thrive.
I am grateful for all the colours and shapes and sizes I see around me- so many different kinds of flowers, birds, fish, leaves, people; and all that variety enriches my experience and my understanding of how this world works. There is always something new to discover and appreciate. I am most intrigued by nature’s “mistakes”, the unintentional hybrids and mutants whose specialness and fragility make them all the more beautiful and teach me that conformity is overrated and that few things are actually impossible. I appreciate the unique blend of cultures, languages, art, music and food that has been birthed here. A messy mix has brought about an awesomely distinct flavour. I appreciate the fluid way words here have evolved, and the incredible story the language of this island tells of its complicated roots.
I am grateful for the peace found at the beach, the perfect juxtaposition of manmade joyful noise and nature’s meditative soundtrack. The crash of waves, the whisper of swaying trees, and the caws of hovering sea gulls mix in with the giggles of teenage lovers, the boom boom boom of the Caribbean DJ, and the sighs of an exasperated mother trying to keep her toddler from drowning, from burning, from falling. All these layers of sound lull me into an accidental afternoon snooze. There are few things I appreciate more than an accidental nap on the beach, protected by the shade of a giant tree and cooled by a gentle breeze. I am grateful for the vastness of the ocean, the ancient tales it keeps safe, and the way in which it holds this world together with its connective and protective force. I am glad that I am no longer afraid of it like I used to be. I respect its power and I am intrigued by its mysteries but I am grateful I can now swim out into the dark deep and trust my own strength to bring me safely back to shore. I appreciate the delicious jolt of that first dive under water, how the salt stings my eyes and scrubs my skin clean. I appreciate the restoration and meditation found in the simple act of swimming- the breathing in and breathing out, the kicking, and propelling forward. All this clears my mind. I always exit the water holier than I entered.
I am grateful for the perfect temperature right here, right now, but I am also grateful for the less perfect temperatures during the rest of the year as they allow me to appreciate this all the more. I am grateful for the luxury of a vacation, and for the hard work that comes before it. I am grateful for a job that pays me well to do what I love to do. I am grateful for a beautiful living space that has become my haven, and I am grateful for finally having a city I can sincerely call my hometown. I am grateful for the sense of settling, for finally feeling at peace and ready to grow roots. I am grateful for a secure home base that allows me to step out and seek out adventure. I appreciate that I can go far away for a while and know I will safely return to a familiar sense of community and belonging. I am grateful for a family who loves me unconditionally, who accepts me and my swirling mass of contradictions, who helps me see myself when I forget who I am, who offers me wisdom, empathy, encouragement and grace. I am grateful for my “urban family,” for the strangers who have become acquaintances who have become friends who have become my sisters and brothers, my soulmates and confidantes. I am my best me in the presence of their loyal and comfortable company. I am grateful for the abundant collection of enduring friendships I have amassed from all the places I have called home. I appreciate the wonders of technology that have allowed me to stay connected to the many beautiful souls who inspire me, motivate me, teach me, and ground me. I am grateful that my heart is open and roomy and has near infinite space to let people in. I am grateful for the lessons learned from the friends, lovers and strangers that have come across my path. They each teach me new lessons about trust and love and authenticity. They challenge my preconceived ideas about living and loving, my stereotypes, my egocentricities, my insecurities.
I am grateful for the beautiful gift of memory. It always reveals itself here in this place. The stores and shores and seaside bars are filled with familiar faces, smells, sights and sounds. I appreciate that I can come back to this island again and again, and smile when I remember again and again the people I can now only access through standing for a moment in the past. I am grateful for the stories of my grandparents, for the afternoon teas spent reminiscing, for photo albums overflowing with black and white slices of life. I like watching their faces as they recreate the past for me, seeing the smile of what was once a shy young man in love, eyes that show remembered sorrow, shrugged shoulders that convey a time when all you could do was say “C’ést la vie.” Those stories make me feel connected to the ancestral souls who sourced my DNA and shaped my history.
I am grateful for time. I am grateful that it faithfully keeps on ticking, that if you wait long enough, fruit always ripens, wounds eventually heal, storms inevitably cease, and seeds sown long ago promise to someday be ready for harvest. Time is perhaps the most precious gift- both constant and fragile, a blessing and a curse. I am grateful for the hope that exists in knowing there will be a tomorrow. I am grateful for the lessons learned from all my yesterdays. I am grateful for an awareness of the fleeting nature of the now, not an awareness that sparks urgency and anxiety, but one that makes me smile with secret glee that I turned in time to see the sun seconds before it set, I looked up just as the chick hatched from its egg. I want to make sure I am able to clear my mind- even if just for a split second- from worry and regret, long enough to truly feel the awesomeness of all of this, of being fully and completely here now. I appreciate the importance of learning how to attain that delicate harmony between remembering yesterday, imagining tomorrow, and being present in the present. I appreciate the connectedness of these realms, their interdependence. None can exist without the others. I am grateful for the ongoing lesson of learning to let go of the fear that time is running out, the fear that there is something somewhere out there that I am missing out on. If I cannot be everywhere with everyone doing everything at once, then I suppose there is no place I would rather be than right here, right now, in my today. Perhaps, of all the things I am grateful for, I remain most grateful for today.
