Q is 2!!! I wonder what he will do....

So, my nephew turned two this weekend, and we had a big ole party to celebrate. He really seemed to enjoy all the attention and affection and presents, as well as a massive assortment of playmates and three varieties of homemade cupcakes.

It was a good, full, happy day.

At this point, he wants for nothing toy-wise. The kid has everything he could possibly need to practice his hand-eye co-ordination, stimulate his imagination, promote numeracy and literacy, develop his fine motor skills. Whatever aspect of his little toddler self needs to be developed, there is certainly a toy in his playroom designed to develop it.

Alongside all the creative and thoughtful gifts of toys and books were generous gifts of cold, hard cash, which will quickly find their way into Q’s bank account, where the coins of this year will join the coins of last year and will all grow, grow, grow in value and interest, so that when the time comes that he has finished high school and is ready to head off on his own adult adventure, he will have some savings to help cover the cost of an education which, at that faraway point in the future, might very well be the equivalent of a mortgage on a mansion.

It’s funny how quickly children become their own people, how they so early on show off quirks and traits that are unique to them alone, and while all of us who love him want him to grow up in an environment where he feels nurtured and safe yet encouraged to explore and discover, we can’t help but wonder who he is later going to be.

So, in the spirit of celebrating a special little guy who has stubbornly and persistently grown from helpless baby to do-it-myself toddler, and also of planning for his someday training and education, may I present to you- based on my current observations and experiences- my top ten predicted possible career paths for Little Man Q.

1. Masterchef

While Q is always interested in helping out, he is particularly intrigued by the kitchen. As soon as anyone is busy making something, he pulls up his stool, and often even climbs up on the counter. “Mix, mix, mix,” he says, or he asks for a “mes” so he can help cut up fruit and vegetables. He helped me make granola once, though his enthusiastic “mixing” resulted in half the bowl spilling out onto the counter and the floor. Luckily, he is a hardcore “poetser” (not inherited from me, that’s for sure) and insists on the broom or the cloth to clean up any mess immediately. We have gone through a good number of bananas as they are soft and easy to cut (or at least smush) with a children’s knife, which gives him the sense that he is participating in creating culinary magic, without risking the loss of any of his cute little fingers. Where does the “master” part come in? Well, given the home he is growing up in, with parents who are skilled in the art of cooking and eating, genes that are infused with creativity and a drive towards perfectionism, and shelves filled with annotated cookbooks and culinary delicacies, I can’t see him becoming any other kind of chef!

2. Michelin Star Food Critic

Q has always been a pretty good communicator and has very little problem offering up his opinion, even without an extensive vocabulary. A few months back, if something was on his plate that he found particularly unacceptable, he simply chucked it on the floor. While that approach has recently been replaced with the more civilized act of removing the undesirable from his plate and placing it to the side, there is still the no-fail technique of simply opening his mouth and letting the unwelcome food spill out. Truly disgusting offerings are sometimes spat out with great vigor, and accompanied by hand gestures, a squished and twisted face, and creative sound effects. He is equally expressive about food he likes. “Nog, nog, nog,” he will demand (more, more more), even if his plate is already full of the good stuff. His taste buds, while sometimes intrigued by the samplings on the adult plates at the table, are most pleased with yogourt, dessert, dessert, dessert, and a whole lotta meat. He went through a phase of being especially fond of a sandwich with paté, though he would often lick off the paté and leave the bread. I admit that his table manners need a little refinement still before he can be sent on assignment, as his go-to food insertion method tends to be too big pieces shoved into an already full mouth, with minimal chewing, but we’re working on it.

3. Rock ‘n Roll Tour Bus Driver

Q loves all things motorized: cars, trucks, lawnmowers, planes, trains. When the road in front of the house was under construction, he stood with his face pressed up against the window and watched for hours on end. If he hears a lawnmower whirring away in the neighbourhood, he shouts out “motor,” and he becomes particularly frustrated when a plane passes by and we are not able to reproduce another the moment he excitedly demands “Nog”. But the bus seems to be a favourite. He has several t-shirts emblazoned with a bus, and “The Wheels on the Bus” tends to be one of his main songs of choice. I have sung to Q for a good long while now, and often when I’ve started to sing a song, he has said, “Nee, nee, nee,” which at first I must admit I took offense to because I thought he was commenting on the quality of my voice. It turns out I was often just singing the wrong song, and sometimes simply switching to “The Wheels on the Bus” is enough to get him smiling and bopping his head. For a while, he loved that song so much that on a recent babysitting visit, I put on good ole Raffi and started- of course- with this favourite tune. Once the song was over and the next began, Q reacted with a “Nee, nee, nee” and became so insistent that we essentially listened to that one song on repeat for two hours straight! Now, my prediction that he will be a rock and roll tour bus driver, as opposed to a city bus driver is simply rooted in my knowledge that he is an incredibly cool dude who loves good music, is often awake in the middle of the night, and has a great spirit of adventure.

4. Librarian

Q was a very early fan of books. He already has quite the collection, and while his attention has recently been drawn away from books by the delights of the world outside, he seems to be particularly fond of pop-up books and books about animals and automobiles. But almost as much as he enjoys “reading” books, he loves to organize them into piles and put them away, or take them all off of the shelf and then stack and re-stack. He also has a wicked memory, which I think could serve him well as a librarian, when people ask him to help them find “you know, that green book with the snake on the fifth page”.

5. Landscape Artist

Q is one of those hardcore outdoorsy kids. As soon as he wakes up, he wants his shoes so he can go “boete, boete” (outside, in dialect). He stands by the back door, deeply distressed, when it’s raining, and he is super content in the backyard wandering around, spinning in circles, kicking the ball, blowing bubbles, throwing sticks. One of his favourite toys, though, is his toy lawnmower. He also loves flowers and shoves his face into each bud to take a good, hard sniff. He likes to move sticks around from one pile to another, and enjoys carrying buckets full of weeds to the compost pile. He also likes to rake and dig and pull out grass. Some possible obstacles to this career path, however, could be the fact that he seems to be terribly afraid of bees and that he doesn’t like to get his hands dirty.

6. UN Translator

Q is daily surrounded by three different languages- English, Dutch, and the dialect of the region. He already has words in all three languages, and seems to understand instructions in all three. Given that he is smart as a whip, a good little problem solver and quick thinker, extroverted and has such an expressive face, I feel this path seems a natural fit. 

7. Traffic Controller

Q gives orders in a very authoritative manner. “Mooze,” he says if I am in the way (in other words, not where he wants me to be), and if I don’t mooze fast enough, he has no problem marching over to where I am at, pulling me by the hand to the desired location, or pushing, if necessary.

8. Stand-up Comic/Potential Finalist on the X Factor

This kid is already a comic genius. He is very in tune with the energy and reaction of his audience and will repeat the most ridiculous acts just to get a laugh. Laugh just once, and he does it again and again and again. Slapstick is his main schtick- you know, intentional falling, dancing, jumping, face-pulling, spinning around in circles until he hits the ground. He’s got a great smirk and is already quite the tease. He loves nonsense singing, is an expressive storyteller and expert peekaboo-er. It also helps that his laugh is a contagious cackle, and that he is a head-thrown-back, full body laugher (much like his crazy aunt).

9. Manager of Housekeeping at the Ritz Carlton

I have never encountered a kid so interested in cleaning. He has a toy vacuum cleaner and a kid-sized broom. As soon as he spots a spill, he wants to clean it up- thoroughly. He loves taking things out of drawers, wiping everything down and then putting it back. Why do I think he will be the manager rather than the maid itself? Well, he has a natural predilection for being in charge and bossing people around, combined with tendencies towards perfectionism and a surprising capacity for empathy. He is also terribly persuasive. Good management material, I’d say.

10. Zookeeper
Animals have long been an area of concentrated interest for Q. It started with a flap book filled with all sorts of different animals. Then there was another animal book and another and another. Then he learned many of the sounds and actions of the animals. (He does an impressive giraffe and iguana, and- believe it or not- knows the sound a water buffalo makes.) He has an extensive toy farm collection, and now, he frequently plays with a whole host of plastic animals, lining them up, grouping them together, moving them to a new location. He also has a great, always growing family of stuffed animals, all of which he has named appropriately. The best name, I think, is "Hap" (Bite) given to a massive stuffed crocodile. Now, of course, a love of animals is not sufficient to become a good zookeeper. Q, however, has a great eye for detail. He notices as soon as a member is lost from the group, and recognizes what differentiates one individual from another. He has already shown his ability to care for animals by frequently trying to feed the "meow" that lives in his house, and his sensitivity to living creatures, as well as his cleanliness, lead me to believe he'd be an excellent candidate for the job. On trips to the petting zoo, he is often a little hesitant to get too terribly close, which he might have to overcome, but maybe this isn't such a bad thing if he is to be dealing with lions and tigers and bears. Oh, and he also really likes playing with keys. From what I know of zookeepers, they usually have a good, hefty ring of keys. Bonus!

There you have it. 

It's fun to speculate, but of course, we all know the unintentional pressure that can be brought on by asking a kid what he wants to be when he grows up, or the anxiety connected to the desire to please our family and make them proud of us, and the delicate balance caregivers and family members must aspire to in helping a child uncover their talents and hone their skills without forcing our own will. The key, I suppose, or at least one of them, I think, is ensuring that this little guy knows that no matter who he chooses to be or what he decides he wants to do with his one precious life, he will be surrounded and grounded in unconditional love and acceptance, and reminded that, above all else, more important than making a lot of money or even making a difference, more important than being the best at something or being remotely successful, I think those of us who love him really just want him to be healthy and happy, because joy makes all the difference really between an okay life and an awesome life, and joy, as far as I can tell, is pretty intricately connected with being in a home where gratitude and freedom and stability and love and acceptance of difference are fostered and modelled. And if I'm wrong, and this is not the key after all, then I'd say it's a pretty good kind of wrong to be.